Entries for September, 2005
September 6th, 2005
fortune cookies and remembering the zoo POSTED AT 09:01 PM the fortune cookie club. finding miss fortune. looks to be like the latest club that hits trafalgar... ministop's fortune cookies... have been constantly buying one everyday, this fortune cookie, with groups of workmates and just sharing fortunes... the fun part of it all is telling one another how so agreably true... dont i just wish that good fortunes do lie inside a sugarcone tasting cookie. i think life would be more simple that way. im not really sure if it's like great or sad that im getting all sorts of fortune regarding love... huff... maybe its really a misfortune cookie... i wonder if there are any... but who would dare have one... i dont think i can... i had enough misfortunes in life and love, and life and love and life... sigh... sometimes its hard to believe but i feel like i just want to leave my life and love in the hands of the cookie... if it had one anyway... sigh. "fortune sides on those who dares." i think was what a virgil said... i think he forgot to mention that misfortune is just waiting around the corner... with a baseball bat. i dont want to be pessimistic or anything, i think its just easier avoiding corners... just to stay away from miss fortune... oh wait, maybe i should be on a look out for miss fortune... i dunno... i dont think im her type... what do you need to do to be lucky these days... i ought to be on a look out...
one day in the zoo. out of a dare it seems. i remember the zoo last week... it has been a long while since i had a field trip to the zoo... not much animals as i have remembered before... but the tiger is still as fierce looking, the hippos are just as big, the monkeys are still bad asses... the place looks better i guess... so much more other things to do... i guess there are some place in your life when you were a kid that you should visit again as an adult... i dunno maybe it is just me... but the experiences are so much different yet feels familiar... and it never seems to fail to take you by surprise, specially what lies beyond it. makes me want to go back to the zoo. hmm, maybe my fortune isnt half as bad... or maybe im being bad... thinking how to get back there again... such an imperfect day... and yet it did not matter for i will come and will so come again. Reading: harry potter and the half blood prince Listening to: northern lights - lux what's your thoughts?
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September 10th, 2005
the distance between POSTED AT 05:40 PM i want to go the distance between ambition and success... it seems though i cant... or wont... *sigh. looks like a promotion is at hand... but as usual i have been on a self destructive mode... i dont know but i am begining to think that i have the knack to sabotage my success... silly me. i have no problem having a great impression with clients and yet when it comes to my boss... disaster... i keep missing all the appointment my boss sets up... either i show up late or dont show up at all... i have been warned before... i like the raise and all, and the title sure... but i dont like being directly under the boss... i dont mind the added pressure or the heavier responsibility... i dont know... but i havent established a good rapport with our difficult director. i dont know... i leave it for them to decide if im worth all the headache and lame excuses... in the meantime i should maybe look for greener pastures... if there are any left... there's too many sheeps and not much green left. i have been improving myself... and i have learned so much skills... but its a tough world out there... i somehow feel worried for my newly graduated bro... but im sure he can manage to find a niche for himself... i see a better future for him than mine. i want to go the distance between dreams and life... i may not have enough fuel. maybe i need a motivator... i fear that my complacency is because i've been doing everything for me and i am so easy to be content. there isnt much urgency on my part... i need help, that i have to admit sooner than later but i am so used to doing things by myself... i think im tired of motivating myself... i cant beat the drum and row the boat myself... i have gone far enough on my own i think... i want to go the distance between fire and passion... i dont know the way. i so know how to start and not end it... *sigh... how could i want something and not grab it... i shouldnt let good things pass... (even if i know it is not for me?)
Reading: harry potter and the half blood prince Listening to: the distance - evan and jaron |
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September 15th, 2005
fate's logic and rainy afternoons POSTED AT 09:35 PM i thought that yesterday was eventful... fate hasnt been kind to me, but what happened yesterday would make a nice story in a novel... a plot twist in the morning, a heart wrenching lunchtime, a drama intense afternoon into a rather unexpected romantic dinner and a steamy coffee by the balcony in the evening that ends up as an adventurous ride home... each event unfolding better than the other... i mean, how often does a sequence of plans that went wrong ending up happening in reverse and ending back from the beginning... ok i may not be making sense... i am just happy that it did happen that way. i dont think i am to understand fate's logic... for so long as i never see the bigger picture of everything, i will never understand. i cant imagine a banana (cream pie) that says "eat me, eat me!" either... i dont want to even talk about yesterday's sequel which is today. i so wish i could spend an afternoon like today as i want it to be... must be the weather... rainy afternoon can just be so perfect... maybe its the garden... a comfy place can just be so perfect... or perhaps its the company... somebody special to be with can just be so perfect... i can continue wishing... for an afternoon like so could never be given up for pass. perhaps fate is kind enough to make wishes come through... perhaps happening in reverse and ending back from the beginning. Reading: harry potter and the half blood prince Listening to: january rain - david gray |
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September 21st, 2005
going crazy... a little paranoid POSTED AT 11:46 PM hey hamster... very busy indeed... so many things to do because you have to, so many things to do because you want to. everything is at high priority... and you shouldnt forget about yourself too on the list. you did not go to work yesterday, hmm, just to have a small break from the gargantuan task ahead? or perhaps because you felt depressed about the day before. you have been going crazy lately... a little paranoid... sigh. go play on your wheel and make it turn. its been weeks... and still so not done with everything. dont mind the break... well, it isnt one really, had to take home work, eh?... anyway its nice sketching plans at starbucks... don you feel more like an artist than a builder, er hamster... must be the coffee or the cookie... or maybe hayden or liszt in the background music... or the anticipation of the company you ought to have the afternoon... it was a happy afternoon... didnt mind the wait... i think it was all worth it... great dinner... very hot tea... and egg tart... learned so much that afternoon... just talking about alot of things... from nothing to everything else. i have kept my mind open and i thought i ought to have an open heart as well. it was a happy afternoon... parting is such sweet sorrow... j'aime vous embrasser. je n'ai jamais goûté de lèvre si doux. ou a touché la peau la plus douce. je n'ai jamais voulu personne si mauvais mes douleurs de coeur. hey hamster... you look desperate... and a little bit stupid too... still going crazy lately... a little paranoid... hey hamster why are you alone? why do you cry? hé l'hamster vous est pourquoi seul? pourquoi pleurez-vous? Reading: harry potter and the half blood prince Listening to: just a little bit - 50 cent |
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September 26th, 2005
time travels that way POSTED AT 02:53 PM moving forward or backward in time is time travel... scientist may say that it is theoretically impossible (theoretical in a sense that it is difficult to disprove). but i'd like to think that it can happen... in some different form. oversleeping is one of them.... slept through sunday mostly... i really dont know how i could do it but sometimes i just fail to wake up on time and the next thing i know its afternoon... i felt like a time travelled to the future. i wake up, and spend an hour disoriented thinking what to do now that it is already late afternoon... i sigh at what i could have done in those hours i slept over... then chip called for a movie... sound of thunder... average b movie i would say... i guess it was worth seeing anyway since i have no other idea how to spend the remains of the day... theme weddings is one of them... saturday was a blast from the past, thanks to the 1920's theme of manny and iea's nuptial party at intramuros... anyway i spent the morning trying on formal wears... until i decided to get a new jacket and long sleeves instead... the wedding was at san agustin, one of the oldest church (if not the most) in the city... everybody was so formal, the men in black suits and the ladies in gowns... it looked like an opera gala... no singing in the mass... just a quintet playing classic hymns all through out. the parade to the reception was reminiscent of an italian wedding... walking with sparklers in hand and tossing of white rose petals... ballroom dancing is one of them... the reception was formal until the cake cutting and then it transformed into a ballroom party of sorts... a very good band was playing different dance music ranging from jive, swing, pasa doble, foxtrot, cha-cha and what others i could not name... people where dancing there and having a great time... and for a moment there as i was watching with a coke and vodka in hand, i saw a glimpse of the past... grandstand party with brass bands playing is something i do like in the 30's. remembering is one of them... i remember friday... sigh. time and space are proven to be interelated... and we obviously can travel through space at any direction... time on the otherhand appears to be linear and one directional... this is the only model of time we know... theory of relativity would suggest we could go further in time or a little shortly before time but never going back to the distant past... i guess time travel would complicate the already so complicated life we have... we could never go and undo what we have done... nor relive whatever we have enjoyed... reading up on time travel has thought me a valuable lesson. life is too short to spend undoing things... learn then move on... seize oppurtunities that presents itself that you'd like to take... without regret... Reading: harry potter and the half blood prince Listening to: i wish i could turn back the time - johnny hates jazz |
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September 30th, 2005
sitting in my room POSTED AT 01:01 PM the penniless sitar player and his humble abode... the house is terribly broken... maybe not as much as the family that lives inside it... with three boys living in it... i dont think any house can really be neat neigh decent... i could be a slob sometime... but then, there is no place like home... i click together my ruby sneakers... there is no place like home. i should be trying to improve the house my parents left instead of thinking of how to get out of it, i dont think i could leave my bros yet... funny how i could be a builder and i cant fix my own home... maybe it aint the house... maybe. i huff and i puff and i want to blow the house down. i should be happy to have a home. i still love my bed anyway... and my room is still my own corner of the world... where i am who i am... my humble abode. it is very much like me... so many interesting novelty so long as you dont mind the mess.
all aboard to planet basketball... nice to be back to planet basketball... another exceptional playing night for me... hot hands... definitely a complete turn around from last weeks dismal game... i should thrive to be consistent now... getting ready for the minor minor leagues... wonder why i feel energized... its like i have been given fresh batteries... to bad the machine is old... my body was aching soon after the game... i almost thought i was feverish... small price to pay for playing. i remember the three tumbling icons last week... and the down time the night before... i thought i should play better... i got more than what i have hoped for... i felt better... and i thought i could play all night. its different if you know someone believes in you. Reading: harry potter and the half blood prince Listening to: let me love you - mario |
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