Entries for January, 2007
January 5th, 2007
falling and failures POSTED AT 09:03 PM why does everything fall? "gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love." -aeinstein it is human's destiny to fall it seems... adam and eve, the first of humans have fallen from grace... but i think the reason why people fall is because we strive to go higher... high above human expectation... to achieve something that is heavenly and godly. we don’t fall off the ground... we have to be elevated... we fall because we have expectations of ourselves... we have high expectations. falling is also necessary sometimes to put us back to the ground if we have strayed our way to the top, either by stumbling because of our own clumsiness or because others have shoved us back down... either way... it always hurts when we hit the ground... more so if it we don't expect it so. it is common for people to fall into or out of many things, but none can be more so intriguing when it is all about love... because people often do... for the right and wrong reasons. everything falls... even everyone. why does everything fail? this one is attributed to the strength of the material... every material can only take so much stress and could only strain so much... everything has a breaking point, even the hardest of minerals would succumb to a certain degree of pressure... it is important that any material should have a breaking point otherwise such material cannot be moulded, cast, chipped, or chiselled to be of use. "there is no failure except in no longer trying." -ehubbard it is human's destiny to fail it seems... and though man is resilient, one can only be as tough as he is resolved... given enough stress and strain... any man can just fail, snap or breakdown... but we fail because we try. while we live, we are tested and tried... and along the way we fail sometimes if not often... these short comings is a way of moulding us and casting us, and chipping us into better individuals. everything fails... but then everyone tries...
Reading: structures or why things fall down - jegordon Listening to: young hearts run free - candi staton Feeling: rushed 5 thought(s) that matters...
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January 11th, 2007
the struggle of mornings POSTED AT 04:00 PM me versus the bed. me... average joe and just a little overweight... a not so daunting workforce... not so much athletics but a weekly basketball, occasional weight lifting and lots of foos ball training. smarter than the average bear with a mean streak of creativity and a bundle good humor naughtiness. the bed... average double with a firm mattress and an extra foam under layer... not out of the ordinary piece of furniture. not much activity except during general cleaning. not smarter than the average door knob with a weird winnie the pooh bed cover (huh?). i had all the confidence of coming out of this fight with out a scratch... this will be a piece of cake... i had more will power than all of the green lantern corps combine. i'm gonna dance around like a butterfly and sting like bee... this bed is gonna crumble. i do not think this bed knows who he is up against with... an under-estimation that will surely cost him this war, i am gonna punish it with all the furies of hell and more. this bed is gonna fall. that was the game plan... that was the motivation... every night that was the battle cry... there is no one in control but me. armed with mean looking pillows, flimsy blanket and a reliable alarm clock with a back up rooster on the neighbor's yard... it's gonna be a take down... i'll take no prisoners, i'll show no mercy, i'll make an example and send a message to all beds all over the world... this bed is dead. i'm in control. i would read a book, count jumping sheep, or fantasize about hot women all to prep me to sleep... deep sleep... the inevitable confrontation between the bed and me... a motionless dance, the unconscious battle begins. "o bed! o bed! delicious bed! i hear the faint alarm and the neighbor's rooster... i am surprised yet unmoved, i am suddenly overwhelmed with forces beyond my own power. the more i struggle to be free the more i grow weak... the pillows are heavy as rocks, i could not lift... the flimsy blanket are like shackles gently binding me to the bed. i have lost the sense of panic, am i losing? i struggle less and less. the bed has consumed me, i am fused in. lost... i could not distinguish myself from the bed... we have become one... all hopes is lost as i slip again out of consciousness... this time with out resisting... with out will... bed wins but i don't mind. "the amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more." -wmizener
Reading: structures or why things fall down - jegordon Listening to: cool change - little river band Watching: heroes season 1 Feeling: sleepy |
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January 16th, 2007
the carved and chipped bloke POSTED AT 11:44 PM "while eeyore frets ... i do not think that i am an uncarved block... perhaps i was once... but i could never be again. with over two decades of education and almost eight years of practice... i would not consider myself someone of simple mind and it would be silly to say i am innocent, naive or inexperienced. with all such characteristics of somebody who is learned and educated, i do not think i am someone who is with wisdom or with contentment or who is enlightened. after reading about taoism and the tao of pooh, it is apparent that i am not, without doubt, an uncarved block. i am an unfinished and slightly broken piece of bloke. though i admire the wisdom behind the philosophy written centuries ago, like all the learned and fools as it would be, i am still a sceptic. but why would i not be, after all the indoctrinations and fraternizations i have been through? it is rather difficult to just understand that wisdom, contentment and enlightenment all rest in nothing... it's not that i do not understand the idea (or perhaps i don't after all), i think i am mostly just being bitter... this nothing should have been taught to me earlier in my life... "if one looks for the tao, there is nothing to see; if one listens for it, there is nothing loud enough to hear." - jbhove though simplifying would be the best solution to almost everything, there are however the complicated and convoluted approach to everything else, which more or less works... ok, maybe less. it seems i am that this point in life discovering wisdom, and i am doing it the "yield and overcome;bend and be straight;empty and be full; wear out and be new; have little and gain." -ltzu and though i could never again be an uncarved block, innocent, naive, inexperienced... of simple mind. much of taoism still holds true to even a sceptic like me who practices the more complicated and convoluted way of life, and that is; we just ought to be responsible with our action, however way of life we choose to live it. do not fret, do not hesitate, do not calculate or pontify. simple or complicated, life just is.
Reading: the tao of pooh - bhoff Listening to: let me be the one - blessid union of soul Watching: bleach season 1 Feeling: contemplative |
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January 24th, 2007
something that happened POSTED AT 09:56 PM "beauty?... to me it is a word without sense because I do not know where its meaning comes from nor where it leads to." - ppicasso i guess it would be too late to talk about something that happened a month ago (that would have been last year as well), but i just remembered it somehow and i thought it would be nice to write it down. anyway, it was mid december, friday of that week when all sorts of christmas party were happening... in fact i was late for one that night. together with two other office friends, trick and neil, we were walking to the venue just a few blocks from our building. i noticed the elevator door was closing and someone peeped out and ask if we were going up. naturally i answered and hurried in to the door. not because the elevator door was closing but because the girl who asked was out-of-the-ordinary pretty and i thought that it would be nice to have an elevator ride with a good looking girl. my friends followed in including someone who seems to be the nanny of the girl arm carrying a small dog. we were all quiet in the elevator. me and my friends were exchanging smiles and obviously checking out the nice looking lass who was not shy to smile back occasionally. she looks better up close, i thought. i wish our stop was not the sixth floor so i could just ride all the way up to the roof top just to stay with her a little longer. "ah, women. they make the highs higher and the lows more frequent". -fwnietzsche but the elevator door opens and it was our stop. no good byes. no see you later, only silence. but as soon as we got off, neil and trick were exchanging notes about the girl or how we were lucky to have been late and being with the girl in the elevator made our day... neil then said, that she looks familiar... i told him that she was heart evangelista... i never imagined trick or neil to not recognize her the moment we got in the elevator, or maybe the situation took a while to sink in. i guess in our own ways, we got star struck. i was just smiling the whole time or tried not to, and i don't even remember saying anything after i answered "up?" with "up!" it seems there is this awkwardness when you see celebrities out of picture tubes, celluloid or glossy magazine pages, this weird realization that they are after all human too.
Reading: structures or why things fall down - jegordon Listening to: with a little luck - wings Watching: heroes season 1 Feeling: nostalgic |
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January 29th, 2007
anger and apology POSTED AT 08:25 PM "if a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size?" -sharris one of my brothers was furious last weekend over a belt that another brother of mine borrowed... it seems there was some misunderstanding about it... there is a difference between asking permission and letting know... at any rate, he was throwing tantrums, walking about, making threats and even tried to call my other brother on the cell phone. i was not paying attention to it really because i thought it was childish, but when he started messing up the rooms and breaking drumsticks he bought for my brother that i thought i had to do something...anyway i told him if he ought to start destroying things for a belt then maybe i ought to help him, so i tossed a rack of cd's on to the floor, and then the stand fan... he somehow realized how stupid it was destroying things for a belt and decided to leave without one..., which was good because i was about to toss the guitar away too... he left me behind to clean the mess... for a belt, geesh. "in some families, please is described as the magic word. in our house, however, it was sorry." - mlaurence late that night my brother sent a message saying he was sorry about that afternoon, and jokingly said he ought to help me toss the ref later...but i did not think it was funny... i did not say anything anymore. i guess that taught him something... i do hope he remembers it though... i do not think i can spare more cd's or fans.
Reading: structures or why things fall down - jegordon Listening to: this never happened to me before - wings Watching: heroes season 1 Feeling: annoyed |
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