works and talks
POSTED AT 07:06 PM

cruboy

my friend chip is back from work... working in a pacific cruise ship must have been interesting... being able to go to four different continents in a year is something... but it must have been a heck of work... work is work, like me currently... in a heck of work.  

on a different note... 

it is funny how some adults find it embarassing to talk about... um sex... embarassed or uncomfortable... a difficult subject to discuss in a public forum... but why should it not be... it is after all very personal.

personal indeed, much like how one would not discuss how he brushes his teeth... he brushes his teeth because thats how he thinks his teeth are getting cleaned... ok, maybe that was a bad analogy... because if it was really just something like brushing teeth then i do not see what the fuss is all about...  it is not like brushing teeth...

unlike brushing teeth, which is a function entirely brought by necessity and the fear of going to the dentist... sex on the other hand is more complex... and though it is a function of the human body it is however also a function of pleasure ... it is as natural like eating, shitting or sleeping... you can do all these things consciously or instinctively... and inevitably you will do so either way.

there is no perversion in talking about it unless it is necessitated by the pleasure of it... but then when is a good conversation irregardless of topic not necessitated by the pleasure of talking.  such communication is important for any couples... for these kind of matters hinge on great compromises... pleasure is a conceited thing, there will always have to be some form of order on who's pleasure comes first... this yours or mine order... either way as long as each gets something.

"sex contains all, bodies, souls, meanings, proofs, purities, delicacies, results, promulgations, songs, commands, health, pride, the maternal mystery, the seminal milk, all hopes, benefactions, bestowals, all the passions, loves, beauties, delights of the earth." - wwhitman

however way, sex is sex... and one would do as to get him or her off... in comes the brushing of teeth analogy.  different stroke for different folks.

perhaps that difference makes talking about it embarassing and uncomfortable...

Reading: nothing!?
Listening to: big girls dont cry (remix) - fergie feat sean kingston
Watching: naruto shipuuden
Feeling: determined

aestas canis immortalis
POSTED AT 03:59 PM

cruboy

aestas. summer has gone...

you might think it is a rather late realization for a season that have passed all to briefly, which i remember still to be rather tragic and sad... but this is all a different sort... well the feeling is similar... tragic and sad... summer has gone.

"the first condition of immortality is death." - sjlec

canis. summer, i have known to be eternal and loyal, has gone. just a few days ago, summer suffered a severe food poisoning that eventually lead to his untimely death. to think i have dubbed summer the "immortal dog".  he had gone through so many life threatening situations from pup to adulthood. from parvovirus,distemper, fatal wounds from dog fights (including a half chewed testicle and a half ripped ear), an air gun shot to the leg, i would never thought that anything else could kill summer. but i suppose there is no such thing as immortality.  longevity perhaps but immortality not a chance. 

immortalis. endless conscious existence, surviving death, to be like the gods.  the idea of it is immense, crossing over to religious philosophy to metaphysical science. we as mortals have aspired for such concept of defeating what is to be the end of us all.  dating back to ancient civilization like egypt, greek mythology, judaism and even hinduism.

in truth, we don't believe (in fact we refuse to believe) that death and cellular decay is the ultimate end of us all. we have a soul the resides in our body that will forever be so even when the body is long gone, we believe it to be so in the ancient times and until so today. the concept of the soul, an indivisible substance of consciousness.

maybe we like to believe so because we don't want our existence to be meaningless.  our mind can project itself beyond the limits of space and time, of endless duration just by imagining so.  the thirst for knowledge and the obssession to discover the truth and meaning. the longing for justice and divine reward because of an unhappy lifelong privation and sufferings.  there has to be something more... more than this life.  perhaps we believe in this so much.

religious philosphy to metaphysical science and crossing over to technology, immortality have transcended time and trends.  nowadays, immortality is in a click of a mouse, an imprint on a cd, just some sequence of binary codes. we have storages of memories measured in terrabytes, life can be captured digitally and forever stored for ages. 

"seek not, my soul, the life of the immortals; but enjoy to the full the resources that are within thy reach." -pindar

summer has gone...

Reading: old blog entries, weird.
Listening to: agustana - boston
Watching: avatar, the last air bender
Feeling: lazy

tech(no logic)
POSTED AT 03:11 PM

cruboy

"humanity is acquiring all the right technology for all the wrong reasons." - rbfuller

it is unfortunate that my brother got excited about nothing... anyway a cousins boyfriend of mine was saying that he had some i-phone for sale and was willing to give it at an unbelievable 15 grand if my brother buys two... and my clever brother was convincing me to buy one so he could get it at that low price.  sceptic and frugal that i am, i checked what the fuzz is all about the i phone in the internet... i got the technical specs and list of features and user reviews as well. 

it was an impressive phone... large touch screen led. but that is all that interested me. function wise, it is found lacking...

i have a friend who has an i-phone bought in singapore... he warned me about imitation because there have been some circulating in singapore as well. i immediately warned my brother to go check it out first. true enough, the phone turned out to be an imitation... when i saw the "ay phone", the camera was in the wrong place, the speakers where in the wrong place, the lcd screen was recessed when it should have been one flat surface, and it had a freaking stylus (wtf)... my brother was kind enough to turn down the offer, well it seems that the seller had no idea he was selling fakes... so my brother got excited about nothing.

it seems he wanted one just to be in... in in what exactly, i am not sure... i suppose there have been a prevalent gizmo craze movement or something that i somehow missed.  i should not be surprised...

"technology is dominated by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage, and those who manage what they do not understand." - putt's law

as much as i want to be updated and techie, i try not to rely too much on technology... i suppose i am a bit old school in some way... pen and paper... who couldn't live without them.  it is good to know that my brother had his senses back and opt not to get a new phone of whatever kind... i was able to convince him to wait for the second-generation i-phone, i mean if it is that good, it should be worth the wait...

as for me, i am fine with pen and paper... ok maybe more.

 

Reading: american time savers for architecture
Listening to: your guardian angel - the red jumpsuit apparatus
Watching: avatar, the last air bender
Feeling: cheerful

four words
POSTED AT 08:25 PM

cruboy

i was asked one lunch meeting if i believed in the human soul, and i said yes.  i never bothered explain why, i think we had to thank st. agustine and st. aquinas for that.

"all serious conversations gravitate towards philosophy."-edimnet

funny thing is i do not know why i started with that story when in fact i am going to write about a different matter, entirely... perhaps i was dumbstruck with philosophical ideas that i just had to write down... well for keepsake if nothing else.

i have a personal philosophy that revolves around four words.  unfortunately these truths of mine did not occur under a bo tree and getting hit by a lightning, it is in fact just a simple assumption of my simple mind to try to understand the complexity of the world in my idle time at work or me staring through the ceiling before going to sleep. like a desperate attempt to make sense out of everything and nothing that happened or will happen to me. life to me can be summarized in these four words: paradox, juxtapose, irony and compromise.

the best way for me to explain these personal truths of mine without being philosophical is to use the dictionary, i know it is silly but perhaps given a chance might entertain or humor your time.

paradox. (pa-ra-doks) n. a statement etc. that seems to contradict itself or to conflict with common sense but which contains a truth. body and soul, life and death, good and evil... we are all vessels of these contradictions. there is an apparent balance of opposite forces, i suppose life without these conflicts means nothing. adversary, it seems is necessary for our growth.

juxtapose. (juks-ta-pohz) v. to put side by side. man with the world, the world with the universe,  the moment with the passage of time... we have to see everything in context with the bigger picture. unfortunately everything that appears to be simple and plain are part of a complex and diverse whole, and to understand anything is to put it side by side with everything else, like a tile in a mosaic. however, sometimes the picture is so big we do not get everything, perhaps there are some pictures that are not meant for us to see or understand at all.  mystery, it seems is necessary for our curiosity.  

irony. (i-ron-i) n. (of a occurrence) the quality of being so unexpected or ill-timed that it appears to be deliberately perverse. i think alanis' song has captured the very essence of irony. if one is to believe in destiny, fate, serendipity, one has to accept the truth of irony as well, because in the grand scheme of things, all these appears to be deliberately if not perverse. we know sometimes that fate have this twisted sense of humor, sometimes we just have to laugh even if we do not understand the punch line cause if we don't laugh about it once in awhile, we all might just end up bitter or cynical. humor, it seems is necessary for our sanity.

compromises. (kom-pro-myz) n. making a settlement by each side giving up part of its demands. something that is half-way between opposite opinions or course of action etc. i always thought that in order to survive life we have to accept certain compromises even if it means giving up something that is dear to us... what is more dear than life right?  i have written about compromises years back and i think this is what the world really needs... love may seem over costed and compromise is cheap. i think bigotry, hypocrisy are the inability to compromise, and we all know how these things come down to. tolerance, it seems is necessary for our character.

Listening to: reggae got soul - 311
Feeling: philosophical

creature of habits
POSTED AT 08:05 PM

cruboy

it is rather disorienting when your daily pattern have been changed by some unforetold event.  like airport traffic controllers panicking when flight plans go awry, or ants running about when something falls over their queue.

"curious things, habits. people themselves never knew they had them. - achristie

well, something similar has happened to me this morning.  i was casually cruising and on autopilot on my way for the usual route from the mrt station to sm and glorieta to the area where i get a cab to work... i was even thinking of making my usual stops where i would normally get my daily dose of vitamin c from freshly blended fruits... unfortunately, glorietta was closed for investigation today (due to recent blast incident).  totally disoriented, i had to find my alternate course to get to my destination.  i had to go around instead of through the mall... what would have been an efficiently short and yet scenic route became a sidewalk adventure from hell... poor creature of habit...

i did not imagine that my usual route was habit forming; i suppose i should not discount the fact that i am a learning being (or am i?)... i guess we have these default settings for certain actions that we do repeatedly, that being the most efficient and safest to say the least.  i guess this is one of the wonderful feature of our brain, making our lives simpler... and maybe perhaps predictable. if somebody were to stake me out, he can set a timer off my actions on my way to work... i suppose that is not good.

if there are habits there must be good and bad habits.  i suppose i have a short list of bad habits... cursing, procastinating, biting, fiddling over other peoples stuff and pinching to name a few (less embarrassing bad habits of course). however, i have been habit training myself to say fudge instead of the more vulgar four letter word. though even when you try to be in control and intuitive of your action sometimes the force of habit just gets the better of you. learning, it seems is inherent in us... unlearning is one difficult thing to do.

"the illiterate of the future are not those who can't read or write but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and re-learn."- atoffler

 

Reading: and still nothing!
Listening to: must have been love - pat mcgee band
Watching: csi season 7
Feeling: disoriented

of games and war
POSTED AT 06:34 PM

cruboy

"war is not nice." - bbush

a friend of mine is convincing me to play these war games using realistic looking military bb guns, full combat gear and outdoor terrain... i like watching war movies, for some weird reasons i find the period romantic in some sense... its like life in a balance with death. but being in one is something else, i think i am more a strategist than actual combatant and given a choice i prefer non-conventional warfare or guerrilla tactics... i never like playing even... i want some advantage to work on... besides when lives are at stake who would want to play fair anyway.

the thing that is putting me off in joining is that it will be in the morning to noon and beyond that... a fine period when i am in my slowest.  i do not think that is good.  beside that i am still wheezing from this annoying cough i picked up in the office... geesh... not to mention the investment you have to do, getting a gun, ammos and gears which are serious stuff... more than my usual card game hobby.  i am not even sure if i want to make it a weekend recreation considering i want to bum around the house on weekends.  i think i have so many excuses not to go. i guess i really do not want to play.

war games, isn't it an irony... people play to simulate death, destruction and mutual annihilation... where is the fun in that.

on a historical point of view however... wars have been one of the most history changing man made event. empires rose and fell, knowledge dispersed and lost, cities built and destroyed, technologies invented and reinvented in advents of wars. it brought out the worst and the best qualities of man. war has inspired people to write, build and think.  i wonder how the history of the world goes if wars never happened... i hate to think that we might still be stuck in the stone age... because i might probably be right.  

"it is well that war is so terrible - otherwise we would grow too fond of it." - gen. relee

Reading: kerkythea read me
Listening to: real girl - mutya buena
Watching: csi season 7
Feeling: sick