of loss and holding breath
POSTED AT 03:28 PM

cruboy

and though i loose things and stuff almost daily; heck in my entire life, i would have thought that i should be used to it by now. i suppose there are some things that i just can't seem to let go. i could still remember the sadness when this piece of lego brick that i lost when i was nine... it was very essential to the aesthetics of the helicopter i built.  the barkada's high school journal which i should have never lent to a friend on the fear of it not returning... well it never did... or this towel that had my initials that i got from a college crush on a christmas exchange gift... or this silver bracelet that was given to me by a friend... or my very first guitar and then of course the most recent my green jacket... such sadness... sniff.  i seem to get attached to things that define me somehow, but who would not be.  everything that we have are extensions of who we are... and though they are not our very limbs, we sometimes grieve over it like it was.  its absence affect us somehow... such sadness.

"whatever you can lose, you should reckon of no account."-syrus

i guess it is some sort of life and death cycle for things we own... we are bound to loose things eventually, or them loosing us... i would assume that there will be some stuff i own that would out live me for sure.  but that's that... everything is temporal, i suppose i am to enjoy what ever i have right now, cause i'm bound to loose it for sure.  and this applies for other important things, but i don't to go to deeper topics.

the upside to loosing stuff i suppose is the excitement of trying to get a new one, an upgrade. i was particularly challenged to find an exact copy of the jacket i lost, if not find a better one... it had been two weeks since, going over through malls and shops all over the metro. it was a bit particular so it came to a point i almost gave up, but i eventually found something... better.

so i guess the moral of it all is that things are bound to screw up and be lost... but then there present itself an opportunity for something better to come along, that is if you do not give up.  and this applies to the other important things that i do not want to go deep into. 

after a loss...somehow something better comes along, it's just a matter of how long i can hold my breath.

(inhaling lots of air)

Listening to: sigur ros - hoppipolla
Watching: glee season 1
Feeling: devious